The craving becomes stronger and stronger. I get older, life may become more complicated and difficult, but it remains, I may not have as much time and freedom to indulge, but it does not mean that I do not indulge. It merely means that it happens less often, but with greater purpose and intensity. The need to indulge my voracious appetites, is just as great. As I have gotten older and the opportunities less readily available, the appreciation grows greater. There is more, My desires have become much more focused.
I do not merely want sex, or fun or a release. I have very specific desires. I know with much greater clarity what brings me the greatest pleasure. As winter grows longer, as the days seem even shorter, as life seems more pressing, the urge remains a flicker within. It continues to grow, I feel it with more intensity, think about it more often. It builds, I search frantically for that elusive release. While my desires are much more refined, quenching them becomes that much more difficult.
February makes the craving more palpable.
